Overtly friendly, enthusiastic, yet often crafty and devious, this obsessive compulsive scalawag leads the team in useless information, ship release dates and unimpressive map facts.
Strengths: Technical game patch knowledge, scheduling, and nomenclature
Weaknesses: Misinformation, and unapologetic loyalty to Microsoft
Turn on’s: Figure heads, Skull forts, and Special controllersTurn off’s: Any technology older than 6 months
Best Line: “You can never have enough gunpowder”
Favorite job: Long distance swimmer
Known most for his colorful language, rage-play, and abrupt internet exits from the vessel, this former merchant marine can be found on the high seas most afternoons sailing alone.
Strengths: Riddle deciphering and Directions
Weaknesses: Sandbars, tree roots, and poor internet connections
Turn on’s: A good looking hull and pretty jackets
Turn off’s: Clean shaven men, and Skele-plants
Best Line: “what the $#?!@! you #!!&%$# mother !*%$#@!!”
Favorite job: Wheelman and treasure hunter
Pickle merchant extraordinaire and Melort enthusiast, this large and lovable comic relief of the crew, often called “leatherdaddy” is known for his inadvertent catch-phrases and propensity for adventure.
Strengths: Finding baffling treasure, Loading cannons, and close-nit parking
Weaknesses: Gunpowder, general directions, and curvy barmaidens
Turn on’s: Attractive sails, shiny skulls, and a clean hook
Turn off’s: Unloaded cannons and sinking
Best Line: “No, no, I meant southWEST. My bad.”
Favorite job: Lookout and ship drunk
Angry, gun-toting, meat-eating beast of pure rampage and vengeance, this ruthless rascal of the plains enjoys nothing beyond pure chaos and mayhem….and an occasional golf scramble.
Strengths: Killing, maiming, and weaponry
Weaknesses: Vegetables, water, and peace hippies
Turn on’s: Truck-size PC cases and grog puke
Turn off’s: Console controllers
Best Line: “Kill, kill, kill…maim maim, maim”
Favorite job: Soul collector
With a nose for shipwrecks and island gold, and a self-affirmed can-do attitude for all things gamey, this shady sailor is often plagued by an unconscious paranoia that everyone is after him.
Strengths: Riddle solving, skull soccer, and diving
Weaknesses: Occasional overconfidence
Turn on’s: Shipwrecks and floating barrels
Turn off’s: Bailing water and repairing holes
Best Line: “Uuuugin’ Get some, cockface!”
Favorite job: Captain
A gun-ho rapscallion from parts unknown, this often over-eager, yet lazy sailor continually finds himself alone in the brig, the short end of Operation Coconut.
Strengths: Taking down towers and Scavaging islands
Weaknesses: Anchor drops, Cannon misfires, and late night sailing
Turn on’s: Cannons, Cannonballs, Cannon fuses, and firing cannons
Turn off’s: Snakes and any hour past 8:30pm
Best Line: Anything laced in gayness
Favorite job: Tower takedown
Delicate wallflower and accomplished musician, this even-keel seadog has a propensity to never be heard. Often giving vital, life-saving information over a muted microphone, followed by incessant whining about nobody listening to him.
Strengths: Sarcasm and movie quotes
Weaknesses: Fog and rain, Corgie barks and spouse commentary
Turn on’s: Outpost bar hopping, cash-money, and sleeping in the captain’s quarters
Turn off’s: Other Galileans and fonts smaller than 12 point
Best Line: “Some schniper’s gonna get his arss”
Favorite job: Cashing in
Little is known about the precarious Padre, other than his given name of Chris Weber, holy nature in the Catholic priesthood, incredible luck and intuitive knowledge of the film Red October.
Strengths: The power of prayer
Weaknesses: Satanism, the cursed, and hellfire
Turn on’s: Unknown
Turn off’s: Unknown
Best Line: “We’re on a mission from God”
Favorite job: Crew Missionary
Alphabetical List of islands and outposts. Click the arrow toggle to open and view what the island contains. Click the button below for an interactive map page.